The Sword in the Stone and Other Tales
by ReadingRaven019
Summary: This is basically just little things that come to me in the middle of the night for no reason. Just a bit of fun. First chapter: Arthur and the knights find the sword in the stone and have a bit of fun. No slash ever. no spoilers at least not yet .
1. Chapter 1

**I have no idea what this is, it's just something that popped into my head late at night. I thought it would be funny if this had happened or something. Figured I'd write it down and let you all have a laugh as well. Any additional chapters will be completely unrelated, so I suppose a little like drabbles. In my eyes it's more just little things that come to me that are funny. Anyway, hope you enjoy it. I loved writing it. **

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ONE

Arthur and his four favorite knights were on patrol in the forest of Essitir. They had been traveling deeper into the forest than usual due to reports of bandits in the area. The weird thing about the reports was that they all seemed to be fighting over something. They had found quite a few bandits, but all scattered and disorganized thereby being easy to defeat. They were heading home when they came upon a strange sight.

"Hey, look at that!" Gwaine said noticing first.

All eyes turned to see a large stone in the middle of a sunny clearing, but what caught them as strange was the nice shiny sword sticking straight out of it. They all moved closer out of curiosity.

"That's odd," Percival said softly as they all dismounted their horses to look closer.

"That's a nice sword," Elyan admired.

"Wonder how it came to be here," Leon said, a similar thought on everyone's mind.

"Magic," Arthur grimaced looking disinterested in the strangeness of it all.

The knights all nodded in agreement.

"But why?" Percival asked.

"It makes no sense," Elyan pointed out.

"Since when have sorcerers ever made sense," Arthur said wanting to go home.

"True," Leon said. "But even for a sorcerer this is a bit much."

"Must have been an idiot to have put such a beautiful sword in a rock," Gwaine said with his usual smile plastered on his face. He was greatly amused by this.

"Maybe this is what all those bandits were fighting over," Percival observed.

"You're probably right," Arthur said. "It is a nice sword," he said looking at it a little closer. "Anyone care to try pulling it out? Whoever does can keep it," he said thinking they might as well gain something from this trip and keep other bandits from being attracted to the area.

Percival immediately stepped up and pulled. He being the strongest everyone expected that if any of them could pull it out it would be him. It didn't even budge.

They all watched as he kept struggling to pull it out. "It's useless," Leon said. "If Percival can't get it out, none of us can."

Percival finally gave up and frowned.

"Let's move on," Arthur said already bored.

"Now wait," Elyan said. "I want to at least try. It's too nice of a sword to just leave here."

Elyan proceeded to attempt to pull it out, but to no avail. He gave up.

Gwaine suddenly stepped forward. "Might as well have a bit of fun," he said with a grin as he tried to pull it out. His smile slowly faded with the effort and finally stepped away from the sword breathing heavy. Let's just say he tried really really hard.

They were all about to leave when Gwaine spoke up again. "Oh come on Leon," he goaded. "Might as well try. We all have and who knows maybe you'll be lucky."

Leon looked skeptical but Percival and Elyan urged him on. He stepped up to the sword a little nervously and gave a quick tug.

"Oh come on!" Gwaine called.

"You have to try harder than that," Elyan pushed.

Leon grimaced but tried a little harder. He tugged and pulled and even pushed. Nothing.

"Can we get a move on," Arthur asked having gotten rather annoyed at this pit stop.

All the knights stopped and looked at him.

"Come on sire," Gwaine egged on. "you should give it a go too."

"Can't hurt," Percival said moving his shoulders innocently.

"It is a nice sword," Elyan said. "Worthy of a king."

"If anyone could do it, it would be you," Leon said halfheartedly.

"Come on!" Gwaine said as he shoved Arthur towards the sword in the stone.

Arthur was rather annoyed and didn't want to look a fool in front of his knights when he failed, but they had all tried and all failed. He figured one little pull would satisfy them so they could get a move on and he could push Merlin around to making him a bath he could relax in.

Arthur pulled his gloves on tighter as he approached the sword and glanced quickly at his knights who all smiled back at him. Arthur rolled his eyes thinking of being able to relax at home soon and seeing Gwen. He placed his hand around the hilt and pulled up. The sword slid through the stone like butter and left the knights in shock. Arthur was just as shocked as them, but was better at hiding it. He looked at the sword with a face that said 'not bad for a sword' and moved on towards his horse.

"You're just a bunch of sissy's," he said as he mounted his horse. "Honestly you're just as bad as Merlin. Now can we please go?" he asked really really annoyed at the prolonged pit stop.

The knights still stood by the rock with their jaws hanging low. They didn't move until Arthur started pulling away from the group. They looked at each other disbelievingly and nodded. They weren't to tell a soul that they had all tried so hard while Arthur did it easily. It never happened. They scrambled towards their horses and followed Arthur a little sadly.

They couldn't believe they were reduced to sissy's in Arthur's eyes.

Stupid hunk of metal stuck in a big stinking rock...

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**There it is. Hope you liked it. I have one other thing written I'll probably put up here. One about Uther. Anyway. See you then.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm afraid some of you people got a little confused. Each story I post on this story is a stand alone. Like a drabble, I suppose. I just had to have somewhere to get these weird little stories that pestered me without writing a whole long fic to do so. I hope you enjoy this one. It's about Uther and a friend of his.**

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TWO

Arthur and his father stood in the courtyard welcoming an old family friend. His name was William, and he was... odd, to put it nicely. He was a thin man with graying hair and frankly he was stupid. No, not just normal stupid like the way Arthur thought Merlin was stupid. He was truly an idiot, but it didn't matter since he was a noble man. A nobleman that was best friends with King Uther. They welcomed him warmly and in the evening held a feast in Williams honor.

The feast was going rather nicely, and everyone was having a wonderful time. That is until William tripped on his own shoelaces and sent the pigs head flying across the room and into Arthur's stew. Everyone sat in silence, not wanting to offend the King's best friend by laughing. Suddenly William popped up off the floor looking ghostly white and completely serious.

"My lord!" he exclaimed.

"What is it William?" Uther asked just as seriously moving closer to his friend.

"I know you won't like this, but it was MAGIC!" William exclaimed.

"Where?" Uther asked darting his eyes around the room.

"I'm not sure, but I am certain they are plotting your downfall!" He exclaimed.

Uther growled. "They shall not get away with this," Uther ground out as he surveyed the room with glaring eyes.

Arthur just blinked still covered in stew with the pig's head in his lap.

"You must leave sire!" William went on. "We must keep you safe!"

Everyone looked at each other not sure whether to take this all seriously or not.

"No," Uther said valiantly. "I must protect my kingdom! GUARDS!" Uther called.

A dozen guards burst into the room ready for orders.

"Take everyone to the dungeons, question them all. There is a sorcerer in our midst!"

the guards unquestioningly did as he commanded. They even took Arthur.

"Father, certainly I don't need to go to the dungeons," Arthur exclaimed as he was being pulled away, still covered in stew.

"Sorry Arthur, we can take no chances," Uther said apologetically.

Arthur just stared incredulously at his father as he was taken to the dungeons.

It wasn't until the room was completely empty except for the king and his friend that William began to calm down.

"I apologize for the inconvenience my lord," he apologized.

"It is no trouble. We are under attack. I am just glad you are such a good a loyal friend."

"The pleasure is all mine," William assured with a bow.

A flash of lightning suddenly flashed outside causing William to jump.

"NO!" William called. "Accomplices stand outside. It is more magic!"

"Armies assemble!" Uther cried running out of the hall, William slowly following behind.

To make a long long story short, the whole army of Camelot stood out in the rain for the rest of the knight searching for a sorcerer. The guests of the feast were all questioned and accused of sorcery in turn (including Arthur) creating quite a bit of tension at times.

The rest of the week went similarly. William would suddenly exclaim that magic was being used to bring Camelot down whenever some little thing went wrong. The people in the castle soon grew accustomed to his strangeness and learned how to deal with it (mostly ignoring it) and moved on. But any time Uther heard his friend say such things he immediately prepared for war. Never once did he think his friend was wrong. He thought it was simply the evil sorcerers plans to do these things.

When William finally left, the people of Camelot were nearly ready to kill him, but were glad to finally see him go. All let out a sigh of relief as he left the city walls.

Uther looked a bit sad at the leaving of his friend.

"Oh I do miss that man already," Uther muttered to his son. "Perhaps he can visit soon again," Uther said hopefully.

Arthur widened his eyes. "Or perhaps you could visit him every now an then," Arthur said unhappily.

"Great idea Arthur. You will come of course," he said patting his son on the back as he walked away. "We shall leave next week."

Arthur paled. He wanted to cry. _Maybe I could create some fake mythical creature attack in the opposite direction of his kingdom.._. Arthur mused trying to think of ways to get out of it.

Arthur walked to his chambers with countless plans of ways to avoid going to visit William with his father.

_If I am forced to go,_ Arthur thought to himself,_ I will kill William myself. _Arthur smiled to himself at the thought. There were so many pleasant ways to kill someone as annoying as William. Arthur didn't usually like to kill, but he loved imaging this particular plot.

Maybe a trip to visit William wouldn't be so bad after all.

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**I hope you liked it. It didn't quite turn out exactly as I had hoped, but I just had to write it. It forced me to.  
**


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